How Selfish Can I Be?

Just another day at the supermarket. Lately I’ve been wondering why they make me feel like a cheap, selfish bastard every time I pile up my goods.

Cashier: Would you like anything from our special sales?

Me: No thanks, just what I’ve got here.

Cashier: OK. Would you like to donate 5 shekels to children with cancer?

Me: No, but thank you.

Cashier: How about beaten wives?

Me: Nope.

Cashier: Rape victims?

Me: Nah.

Cashier: Severely autistic kids?

Me: Mmm, don’t think so.

Cashier: Severely retarded?

Me: Don’t think so, no.

Cashier: OK, how bout 5 shekels for cystic fibrosis, then?

Me: Nah.

Cashier: Multiple sclerosis?

Me: Nope.

Cashier: Lou Gherig’s?

Me: No Mam.

Cashier: Will that be cash or credit?

Me: Credit.

Cashier: Have a good day, sir.

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