Home, Sweet Home!

Half & Half is back after a long-needed break in the Big Apple. As usual, Karen and I, whenever in the best town on Earth, flirt with the idea of moving over and taking our chances in the Goldena Medina, maybe even ze Upper Vest Side..

But really, what is it about that place? The cleanliness? The civility? The politeness? The order? Those huge supermarket aisles, everything stacked so perfectly (so perfectly it makes me wanna take a stick and whack down all the cereal from the shelves)? Is it the subway with the guy flipping pages on his Kindle while the pregnant woman goes up and down the car asking for handouts? Is it the service? Ahhh, the service… hmmm… so nice to be a customer…

But alas, the pangs for a good ol’ plate o’ hummus from a cold and apathetic waiter and a juicy, never-ending conflict put those dreams on the back burner. That’s right, gimme a plate of chick-peas with a drizzle of warfare – and I’m all yours.

It’s quite amazing, though, I get back home, and it only takes a day for something to piss me off. Mind you, it’s hard to get me annoyed about anything while severely jet-lagged (actually, make that “with two severely jet-lagged kids”). So, these must be pretty bad things.

Last Friday, the police dispersed the weekly Sheikh Jarah demo with force. Not anything like the force used against settlers who demonstrate in the same place, or like the force used against Haredim who riot all over town whenever they want. It’s nothing like that force, because that kind of force is rarely used against settlers or Haredim to begin with.

It doesn’t matter what side of the map you’re on. But if you’re on democracy’s side – you should be very upset about this. That pretty much sums it up.

And democracy’s advocates should also be at least a tad worried about the treatment MK Hanin Zuabi received this week. Yesterday she was stripped of her special privileges as a member of parliament for her taking part in the Gaza flotilla.

Zuabi hasn’t been arrested, investigated nor charged with anything. She did not break Israeli law. Yet this Knesset has rules of its own, and it shall decide who’s wrong and who’s right. Forget the justice system, they’re just a bunch of pansies. Did someone say “fascism”?

Ah, and how can I forget, last but not least, the Giora Eiland report into the conduct of the army in the Gaza flotilla fiasco. If the U.S. is the land of opportunity, then Israel must be the land of “the opportunity to screw up and not pay for it”.

As expected, Eiland concluded that mistakes were made, mainly intelligence-wise, but he didn’t have the guts to jot down any names, to get some heads rolling. Nah, a general doesn’t do that to a fellow general. Not in Israel. As Amir Oren pointed out in Haaretz:

“But Eiland, in his insistence on avoiding making difficult personal recommendations against generals, is repeating the behavior of members of the generals’ club. Somehow it’s easy for them (although not necessarily for Eiland personally, who also has pity on the lower ranks), to dismiss a corporal, major and even a brigadier general. When the flames are approaching the club, the arguments of principle are pulled out. We can go back decades and not find a single case of a general being dismissed, while division commanders and those below them in rank and command are crushed like flies. A general does not dismiss a general.”

And guess what’ll happen when the Turkel Committee’s report examining the political echelon’s role is published? That’s right. Nothing. Everything will be normal. Heads won’t roll. Things will go on as they always do. As is necessary. Ehud Barak will play piano in his flat way up in the sky in the Akirov Towers while hallucinating that he’ll one day be prime minister again; Bibi will light another cigar as he thinks of even more creative ways to stall the peace process; and his wife Sara will slowly be taking off another shoe as she slyly creeps up behind yet another maid…

It’s all good.

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Izzie in HolyLand – Part 12

Regev: Ms. Holyland, it’s time to go.

Izzie: Shut up Mark, I know it’s time to go. Don’t push me around, it’s my ass they’re gonna grill out there – not yours.

Regev: Sorry, Ms. Holyland. But look at it this way: we’re prepared. We have answers for everything. Just look at the papers if you forget something, everything’s there.

Izzie: Almost everything. There’s still that one question we don’t have an answer for. One question that could ruin the whole thing, you dimwit.

Regev: Well, maybe they won’t ask it… maybe they’ll forget.

Izzie: Jesus, I’m surrounded by morons. I’m not doing “maybe’ anymore, Mark! Last time I got “maybe” for an answer was when I asked Meir Dagan if the Mavi Marmara had any violent activists on it. And two weeks before that, he said the same fucking thing when I asked him if Iran had nukes! 

Regev: It’ll be fine. Trust me. Come, they’re waiting.

Izzie and Regev go out on stage. The foreign press has come out in huge numbers to hear her statement on the easing of the siege on Gaza.

Regev: Good evening to you all. In just a minute, Ms. Israel Holyland will deliver a short statement about the easing of the siege. After that, she will take a few questions. We request you do not leave after the Q&A as we will be joined by Danny Seaman who will share some of his travel tips about Gaza City, nightlife in the Strip and the best secluded beaches for skinny dipping.

Izzie takes the stand.

Izzie: It has come to my attention that civilians in Hamastan have forgotten the taste of pasta and coriander. There have also been some complaints about toy shortages, mainly plastic Qassam rockets and fake suicide belts. As a result, Israel has decided to ease some of the restrictions on the civilian population of Terrorstan. A new list will be provided to you at the end of this session. That’s all. Happy now?

Izzie whispers under her breath: Maybe now they’ll leave us alone, the anti-semites…

A journalist from SKY news: Ms. Holyland! Did you just say something? Did you call the foreign press anti-semites?

Izzie: No, No!!! I said “invites“! I said Mark must have sent out a lot of invites to this one. Right Mark?

Regev: Yes, Ms. Holyland. I did. Now, if we can just move on to the question stage. Let’s see…. who shall we give the first one to… How ’bout the nice lady sitting quietly in the front row here, Helen Thomas. Kidding… kidding… I’m just kidding. Ummm… OK. Guess you didn’t like that one. Anyway, ummm… Ethan Bronner, New York Times.

Bronner: Ms. Holyland, when will the new restrictions come into effect?

Izzie smiles, it’s an easy one. She loves Ethan…

Izzie: Hi Ethan… they’ll begin immediately. We don’t want to deny those Gaza kids their coriander now, do we?

Regev: Tim Franks, BBC.

Franks: Ms. Holyland, was this move made due to the immense international pressure on your government to end the siege on Gaza?

Piece of cake. Going well so far, she thinks to herself…

Izzie: Thanks for your question Tim, but no. In fact, the international pressure – which the whole world should be ashamed of, because it is basically dark forces that are behind it, dark, evil forces like in a Star Wars movie, not the good “may the force be with you” stuff, more like the Darth Vader and all those guys in black forces, I even had people from the Balkans call me about it, but I barely understood them, I was like: “Hey, can I get a freakin’ vowel here?”, I mean, what’s up with that language over there? – but anyway, that international pressure didn’t play a part. Not only that, I’ve been thinking about lifting the siege for a while now, I just haven’t gotten to it. 

Franks: Haven’t “gotten” to it?

Izzie: Yeah, I just didn’t have time. Way too busy….

Regev: Guy Azriel, CNN.

Franks: Mark, if I could just ask Ms. Holyland to explain why she didn’t have time to –

Regev: Nope. Azriel?

Azriel: Ms. Holyland, some people are calling this a victory for Turkish PM Erdogan. What’s your reaction to that?

Izzie could barely hold back the grin for this one…

Izzie: Some people may. And some people may call Erdogan’s battle against the rebel Kurds a victory, by using Israeli drones against them. Yeah, I’d call that a “victory”. Now that I think about it, Erdogan’s chock full o’ victories! Such a military mastermind!
 
Izzie looks at Regev. They’re on cloud nine. Couldn’t be going better.

Regev: Rachel Shabi, The Guardian.

Shabi stands up, and a wide grin begins to form on her face.

Shabi: Ms. Holyland, isn’t the fact that you are finally letting in these products proof that the siege on Gaza has all along been nothing more than collective punishment?

Izzie stares back at Shabi, the blood slowly draining from her face. She looks back at Regev, then back at Shabi, who’s still waiting. Everybody’s waiting…

Izzie: I… ummm…

Izzie feels all the eyes in the room on her. She looks back at Regev, who suddenly buries his head in his papers. “That fucking retard”, she hisses to herself, “I swear to G-d I’ll hang him. ‘Maybe they won’t ask it’, he says. Dimwit…”

Izzie: Well, ya know… umm… 

Shabi sits down, watching the hole get deeper every second

Izzie: I think I better, ummm…

Regev comes in with big strides, with a nervous grin plastered on his face

Regev: So how ’bout those Lakers, huh?

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Posted in Featured Half & Half Izzie in Holyland by Ami Kaufman. 7 Comments

Annnnnnd They’re Off!

In January this year I wrote a post about four of the next superstars in Israeli politics. Two of those people were Yair Lapid, the Channel 2 news anchor, and Ofer Eini, head of the Histadrut.

On June 8th, Lapid spoke to a group of 300 supporters in a meeting that was open to the public but closed to the press. As Gil Hoffman of the Jerusalem Post reported, Lapid had no qualms laying out his political agenda despite his media role:

“We will return the people who have left us,” Lapid said, referring to center-left voters. “We will write a constitution, change the electoral system, and return to you because we cannot do it without you. It is not too late.”

Asked by an audience member why he was holding such an event, he said he was worried about his son and his future. He said he would speak wherever people were willing to listen to him, because he was concerned that there was no “responsible adult” currently in Israeli politics.

“If we look at what happened in the Second Lebanon War and with the Gaza flotilla, we see that we don’t know how to run a war and we don’t know how to run a country,” he said.

Meanwhile, politicians across the spectrum have called for him to resign his post on the Friday news show if he indeed intends to run for office, claiming he is taking advantage of his position in the media to launch a political career.

But much more interesting was today’s article in Ynet about Eini. Some believe Eini is one of the most powerful men in the country today, but he has yet voice his opinion on diplomatic matters.

As Ynet’s Atiila Somflavi reports:

“The leadership of the Labour party is concerned with the lack of progress on the diplomatic front. In closed conversations, Eini lately said that he is extremely worried about the diplomatic peace process and from Israel’s standing in the international arena. Eini told politicians in the party that he is waiting to see if there will be any development on the diplomatic front until September-October, and hinted that he will work towards changing the make-up of the government.”

Besides the fact that the two are finally making their moves, what’s interesting is the timing they both have chose. Has the Gaza flotilla fiasco woken them up? Do they see an opportunity that we don’t yet? Do they have any feelers out there telling them that now is the time to start closing in on their enemies? Do they feel that this government, like most of its predecessors, will not run out its full term?

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Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah

Hello muddah, hello faddah,
Here I am at Besieged Gaza,
Gaza’s not so entertaining,
But they say it may improve if Hamas stops reigning

I went hiking with Rafeek,
He got shot and now can’t speak
You remember my pal Ahmed
He was killed by snipers in Operation “Cast Lead”

They won’t let in jam or buiscuits,
Goats or cattle, neither small chicks
Sweets and chocolates are forbidden
Tell me how’s a kid supposed to go on livin’?!?!

No, I don’t want this should scare ya,
But this place is a disaster area,
You remember my pal Fahdi,
They’re about to organize a searching party!

Let me out, oh muddah, faddah.
Let me out, I hate this Gaza,
Don’t leave me out in the Strip
Where, I could be target-killed from air

Let me out, I promise I will stay devout
And take care to not mess about
With anyone who likes Abbas
For we are all Hamas! (not….)

Dearest faddah, darling muddah,
How’s my precious little bruddah?
Is he still in the ICU
Due to bullets that split his liver into two

Wait a minute; Hamas stopped reigning,
We’ve got gas and we’ve got saline,
Playing soccer, gee that’s better,
Muddah, faddah, kindly disregard this letter!

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Mavi Dick

Call me Ishmael.

After years in the service of the watchdog of democracy, I decided to join the Naval Commando of the Jewish homeland to defend it from its enemies.

But alas, the ship I have joined today sets out on the most dangerous of missions I have taken part in thus far. For it is led by the mad Captain Bibi, and our quest is to hunt down the Big White Boat, known as Mavi (Marmara) Dick.

Mavi Dick

At first I was in full admiration of thy captain, but his insistence on revenge and boarding the White Boat hath scared thyself and my crew-mates. Only my colleague, Starbuck, has had the courage to confront Captain Bibi over his folly, calling out the futility of the journey.

But Captain Bibi would hear nothing of it. He accused the Mavi Dick and its passengers of hatred and responsible for the state of decline in the Jewish Home.

“Who told thee that I search only for revenge?” cried Bibi; then pausing, “Aye, Starbuck; … aye, my hearties all round; it was Mavi Dick that dismasted me; Mavi Dick that brought me to this dead Mideast policy I stand on now. Aye, aye,” he shouted with a terrific, loud, animal sob, like that of a heart-stricken moose; “Aye, aye! it was that accursed White Boat that razed me; made a poor pegging lubber of me for ever and a day!” Then tossing both arms, with measureless imprecations he shouted out: “Aye, aye! and I’ll chase it round Limassol, and round Tyre, and round Alexandria, and round perdition’s flames before I give it up. And this is what ye have shipped for, men! to chase that White Boat on both sides of land, and over all sides of earth, till he spouts black blood and rolls lifeboat out. What say ye, men, will ye splice hands on it, now? I think ye do look brave.”

Captain Bibi

The men seemed very excited. Only Starbuck remained unperturbed.

“But what’s this long face about, Mr. Starbuck; wilt thou not chase the White Boat? art not game for Mavi Dick?”

“I am game for his so-called humanitarian aid, and for the jaws of Death too, Captain Bibi, if it fairly comes in the way of the policy of the siege of the land they call Gaza ; but I came here to enforce the siege alone, not my commander’s vengeance. How many future activists will thy vengeance stop even if thou board this White Boat, Captain Bibi? it will just make the world angrier with the Jewish State.”

But Bibi commanded to sail on towards Mavi Dick.

Starbuck did not give up. “Vengeance on a dumb boat of activists!” cried Starbuck, “Madness! To be enraged with a dumb thing, Captain Bibi, seems blasphemous.”

“Hark ye yet again – the little lower layer. All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event – in the living act, the undoubted deed – there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the White Boat is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there’s naught beyond. But ’tis enough. It tasks me; It heaps me; I see in it outrageous strength, with an inscrutable malice sinewing it. That inscrutable thing is chiefly what I hate; and be the White Boat agent, or be the White Boat principal, I will wreak that hate upon it. Talk not to me of blasphemy, man; I’d strike the sun if it insulted me”, said Captain Bibi.

Captain Bibi went down to his chambers in the boat’s belly, enraged by Starbuck’s mutiny. “What I’ve dared, I’ve willed; and what I’ve willed, I’ll do! They think me mad – Starbuck does; but I’m demoniac, I am madness maddened! That wild madness that’s only calm to comprehend itself!

I, Ishmael, was indeed finally beginning to comprehend the full madness of our captain. The White Boat swam before him as the monomaniac incarnation of all those malicious agencies which some deep men feel eating in them, till they are left living on with half a heart and half a lung. All that most maddens and torments; all that stirs up the lees of things; all truth with malice in it; all that cracks the sinews and cakes the brain; all the subtle demonisms of life and thought; all evil, to crazy Bibi, were visibly personified, and made practically assailable in Mavi Dick. He piled upon the boat’s white stern the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart’s shell upon it.

From the ship’s bows, nearly all the commandos now hung inactive; unprepared with only paint guns and asbestos gloves mechanically retained in their hands, just as they had darted from their various employments; all their enchanted eyes intent upon the Mavi Dick, which from side to side sent a broad band of overspreading metal bars and knives and clubs as it rushed. Retribution, swift vengeance, eternal malice were in its whole aspect, and spite of all that mortal man could do, the solid pounding of its so called “peace activists” were of such brute force, till men and timbers reeled.

Rowing back after the botched mission

And even after the Mavi Dick’s “triumph”, where 9 of its activists were killed by me and my crew-mates, thus exposing the folly of our mission, Captain Bibi continued to blame the rest of the world with hypocrisy and sentiments against semites.

And as the crazed Captain Bibi continued to hail the Mavi Dick escapade a success, he punctured yet again the very life raft of which the Jewish Home clung to, thus quickening it’s descent into the depths of the Mediterranean Sea.

I, Ishmael, watch as my country sinks to the bottom of the sea

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Money Makes the World Go ‘Round

Let’s get a few things straight here, if you haven’t already understood where this post is going after reading the headline:

Santana, Elvis Costello, and as of today – The Pixies (disclaimer: I bought tickets to this one, and wrote about how excited I was here) couldn’t care less about the Palestinians.

Carlos Santana doesn’t pick up his guitar every morning and pretend it’s an oud while humming verses from the Koran to the tune of Black Magic Woman.

Elvis Costello doesn’t “write the book” everyday after thinking of new ways to end the siege on Gaza.

And Frank Black couldn’t care less if Bibi is six or if Allah is seven.

The only thing that happened here is a cold calculation about images and the possibility of them being tarnished.

It’s much easier to give up on a small Israeli crowd than the potential damage of losing out on huge crowds back home or in Europe.

So, you might be for boycotts, or you might be against them. And you might be naive enough to think that rock stars actually give a shit.

But I hate to break it to ya – it’s all about the money.

So shove that in your peace pipe and smoke it.

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The Kaufmans Come Out in Full Force

After years of sitting on the sidelines (well, let’s face it – with two kids on your hands, there’s barely enough time for anything) the Kaufman family decided to get off their cute little tushies and head down to the demonstration against Bibi and everything he stands for.

Apparently I love Arabs - Lea a bit less. (Sign reads: I love Arabs - Ask me How)

It was a nice turnout. Not as big as we had all hoped for. But a good start. Organizers said 20,000. Websites say around 7,000.

 I was especially impressed with the words of author Nir Bar’am, who was as articulate as they come, and asked some good questions, like why has Israel abandoned the Arab peace initiative. Other than that, it wasn’t a very powerful demonstration.

But I guess the main event of the evening was the smoke bomb that was thrown straight into the crowd. It was kind of scary, since the dark smoke kept on getting thicker and blacker, and it looked for a minute like there was a big fire going on. One can only hope that in future demonstrations the police will do a better job at protecting the demonstrators. Our opponents are known to have a short fuse.

The other main event was at the end, when all of us were leaving the demo and had to pass a group of right wingers.

I looked at them, with my daughter Lea hanging on a sling in front of me, and they called me a traitor.

Their eyes were full of rage, and they called me an anti-semite.

They waved their fists at me and my daughter and called me an ass-fucker.

And for a second I was angry.

But my anger quickly turned into pity.

Pity for the class bully who resorts to foul language and violence.

Pity for the weak mind that knows no better.

Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.

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It’s a Gas! Gas! Gas!

As the world focused on events on Mediterranean waters this week, there were other developments, just as important, going on 1.5 km under the water, not far from where nine people lost their lives. And although the Gaza flotilla disaster has the potential to drastically alter the political landscape of the Middle East, the rumblings occurring just 90 km off the shores of Haifa have already begun to change things without most people knowing it.  

On Thursday, Noble Energy, one of the biggest energy groups in the world, announced plans to drill at the record-sized Leviathan site, opposite Haifa. The huge site is situated close to two other sites, Tamar and Dalit, where Noble has already found natural gas and plans to start drilling by 2012.  

Tamar is huge. It was discovered in January 2009 and holds over 6 trillion cubic meters of gas. It was expected to produce 25 thousand barrels of gas a day. That’s about five times more than the average Saudi well. Reports have said that Tamar will pretty much make Israel self sufficient for at least three decades. Yitzhak Tshuva, Israeli tycoon and owner of Delek Energy who is a partner with Noble in the sites, has been hinting that Leviathan might be even bigger.  

Leviathan (in red)

But on Thursday it got even better for Noble and Tshuva. First they announced that Tamar holds 33% more gas than expected. And then they said that Leviathan has a 50% chance of holding twice as much as Tamar – over 16 trillion cubic feet of natural gas. In the drilling world, 50% is actually considered very good odds; the chances for Tamar were much lower and look what happened there. Noble said on Thursday that there are 30 trillion cubic feet overall in the area off the coasts of Israel, more than twice U.K.’s proven gas reserves.  

What does this mean for Israel? Well, after all these years of complaining about how all our neighbors are filthy rich from oil, it looks like Israel might get a piece of the pie. Not only that – Israel will not only have enough gas for itself, it will most probably be able to do what was once the unthinkable: export gas.  

Tshuva

For Israelis themselves, this is good news. According to Yedioth Ahronoth financial analyst, Sever Plotzker, the Israeli government will get 40-45 shekels for every 100 shekels of gas sold. If Tamar alone will supply 150 billion shekels over 15 years, the state coffers will be filled with 60 billion shekels.  

But even more importantly, this find has geopolitical ramifications that are yet to be evaluated. Tshuva, who also owns the New York Plaza Hotel and is invested in other real estate projects in the U.S., said on Thursday the “the gas finds will turn Israel into a large player in international markets and will strengthen Israel’s economy”.  

One doesn’t have to look far – Saudi Arabia is close enough – to see how resources are turned into power and how that power can sometimes make the West turn a blind eye to things it doesn’t approve of.  

Good news for Israel. It’s neighbors might be a bit more than disappointed.

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How About Everybody Watch Their Language, OK?

MJ Rosenberg writes today about the use of the word “lynching” in Israeli media:

“Has anyone else noticed? Israeli spokespersons are obviously under orders to use the term “lynching” when they describe what the flotilla people were trying to do to the Israeli soldiers who boarded the ships.

Obviously, the tender civil rights liberals of the Likud party believe that applying the term “lynching” to an alleged attack on armed soldiers would make us dumb Americans think the Israeli soldiers were would-be victims of racist terrorism — like Emmett Till and about a thousand other African-American victims of lynching between 1890 and 1964.

How obscene. Lynch victims were unarmed, powerless, and attacked by armed thugs. Comparing armed Israeli commandos to 12 year old black kids strung up for looking at a white woman is revolting.

Here is a better analogy from the civil rights era, offered by a young friend and colleague.

“Israel’s defenders,” he says, “are arguing that Israel had the right to attack the people on the ships because the flotillas’ goal was not really to supply the Gazans but to break the blockade. Supplying the Gazans was only a pretense for their larger political goal.

He continues:

“So does that mean it was okay to beat and brutalize kids who were sitting-in at Woolworth counters throughout the south in the 1950’s and 1960’s because their real goal was not being served lunch but ending segregation.”

I couldn’t agree more. Stop using the word.

But I also have a problem with the word “massacre”.

I looked it up in dictionary.

1 : the act or an instance of killing a number of usually helpless or unresisting human beings under circumstances of atrocity or cruelty

From what I’ve seen and read so far, those guys didn’t seem too helpless nor unresisting.

So how about everybody take a breather before they splurt out their pearls of wisdom?

Put things into proportion.

No “Lynching”. And no “Massacre”.

Use your words carefully, or don’t use them at all.

There are lives at stake.

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What More Proof Do You Need?

So America, Europe and the World – I have a question for you:

What more proof do you need?

What more proof do you need to convince you to finally take action?

What more proof do you need to convince you, that these two children who have the audacity to call themselves “nations”, will go on acting foolishly and kill each other until you put a stop to it?

What more proof do you need of Israeli immaturity?

Without going into the biggest crime of all – over 40 years of occupation – what government in their right minds sends an elite commando unit, armed to their teeth, trained to kill, to do policing at sea?

What kind of government doesn’t take the time to think of a more clever way to stop a boat? It’s really not that hard. And there was so much time to think. To prepare.

Sure, that boat should have been stopped. But are you telling me the great Jewish mind couldn’t find a better way to stop a boat other than commandos sliding down ropes, with gloves on their hands and paintball rifles? Really?

And what more proof do you need of Palestinian immaturity?

Without getting into the crimes of Palestinians – terrorism, incitement and the Hamas rule of hatred – what kind of leadership, be it Palestinian or foreign peace activists, in their right minds tries to ram through a blockade of the strongest army in the Middle East?

What the organizers of that flotilla did was irresponsible – on the verge of gross negligence. Trying to get through that blockade was just like taking a truck full of supplies to one of the Gaza crossings and ramming it through the gate, even though the IDF told you to stop. Just because it happened at sea at lower speeds doesn’t make a difference.

The whole idea was folly to begin with, almost as if the weakest kid in class would go up to the class bully and kick him in the knee, thinking he’ll get away with it. There are smarter ways to deal with class bullies. Especially notoriously trigger-happy ones such as the IDF. Unless, of course, that’s the result they were hoping for: blood. Which, if true, is just as sick.

And exactly what kind of peace flotilla carries weapons when they promised not to use violence? I saw those “peace activists” using their knives and metal sticks. Oh yes, it took me straight back to Haight-Ashbury.

So, now the investigations will begin. Who started? Who sounded the first shot? Who hit whom first? No! He hit me first! No I didn’t! You hit me and then I just pushed you so you wouldn’t hit me again! What??!? I pushed you?!?! You tripped me and then I got up and you pushed me!! Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Children.

And you just sit there and watch. And you demand “full investigations”.

Oh yes, let’s do that. Let’s investigate, shall we? Because nobody knows what the problem is. The root cause. Nope. We must search, we must investigate. In fact, I can’t think of a better way to spend our time as 1.5 million Palestinians and Gilad Shalit rot in Gaza.

Your upcoming investigations are useless. Your inevitable finger-pointing is futile.

And so far, America, Europe and the World – you have also been futile.

When will you understand that it’s already out of our hands? That we have no control over it any more?

Honestly, what more proof do you need?

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